For many young people in the UK, residential care has become a necessary reality.
While the focus understandably lies on ensuring the well-being of the child entering care, the impact on their siblings can be profound and often overlooked. These siblings, unseen casualties of a difficult situation, face a unique set of challenges that deserve understanding and support.
This blog post sheds light on the challenges faced by siblings of young people in care, exploring the circumstances leading to care placements, the emotional rollercoaster siblings experience, and ways to create a smoother path for all the children involved.
Why do young people enter residential care?
There are several reasons why a child might be placed in residential care.
- Abuse or neglect: This can be physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, or neglect that puts the child’s safety and well-being at risk.
- Parental or young person’s mental health issues: If a parent struggles with mental illness, they may not be able to provide adequate care for their children. Additionally, a child with severe mental difficulties including bipolar, schizophrenia, eating disorders, among other issues, may be removed from home and placed in a specialised home, better suited to address their needs.
- Family breakdown: This could be due to divorce, separation, or domestic violence.
- Substance abuse: A parent or young person struggling with addiction can create a chaotic and unsafe environment for others, necessitating their removal, and placement in residential care.
These situations can be incredibly stressful for siblings. Witnessing the events leading to care placement, or even just the tension in the household, can create feelings of fear, confusion, and insecurity.
Siblings may also carry a sense of guilt or blame, wondering if they could have done something differently.
Before care placement
Even before their sibling enters care, a child may be experiencing a challenging home environment.
They might witness abuse, take on the role of a young carer, or feel emotionally neglected. This can lead to:
- Anxiety and fear: The instability at home can cause a constant state of worry about their own and their sibling’s safety. Additionally, the anticipation of a sibling leaving can be overwhelming. Siblings might experience confusion, anger, and sadness about the impending separation.
- Fear of abandonment: The fear of being left behind or facing a similar fate can be crippling for young siblings.
- Taking on responsibility: Some siblings, especially older ones, may feel pressured to take on extra parental roles, further adding to their emotional burden.
- Feeling powerless: Siblings may witness the events leading to residential care placement, and feel confused about what’s happening and powerless to change it.
During care placement
When their sibling enters care, a whole new set of challenges emerge.
- Anger and resentment: Siblings might develop feelings of anger towards their placed sibling, feeling resentment for the disruption in their lives.
- Grief and loss: Siblings may feel a sense of abandonment, even if the placement is necessary.
- Isolation and loneliness: The absence of their sibling can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, especially if they cannot maintain regular contact.
- Anxiety about the unknown: Uncertainty about the future relationship with their sibling and the care environment can cause significant anxiety.
- Maintaining contact: Distance and logistical challenges can make regular contact with their sibling difficult.
After care placement
The impact doesn’t disappear once their sibling returns home, or if reunification isn’t possible. Siblings may face;
- Ongoing emotional baggage: The stress and trauma experienced can have long-lasting effects.
- Adjustment issues: Their sibling’s presence may require a readjustment of family dynamics.
- Resentment or jealousy: Siblings might feel resentment towards the additional support their sibling receives.
- Uncertainty about the future: If the reason for care placement remains unresolved, there might be a fear of it happening again.
How do the challenges manifest in siblings of young persons’ in care?
The challenges we have detailed above can manifest in a variety of ways for the siblings such as;
- Behavioural changes: This could include withdrawal, aggression, or truancy, and difficulty focusing.
- Emotional difficulties: Feelings of sadness, anger, anxiety, and even depression are quite common.
- Social difficulties: Siblings may struggle to connect with peers or feel out of place due to their unique situation. They may also experience bullying, ostrasication, or other social hiccups due to having a sibling in care.
- Academic difficulties: The stress and emotional turmoil can negatively impact their ability to learn and perform well in school.
How can we support the siblings of young persons in care?
Supporting the siblings of children in care is crucial for their well-being. Here’s how we can make a difference.
Social workers and care providers
- Prioritise sibling relationships: When creating a care plan, prioritise keeping siblings in contact whenever possible. We recently explored the importance of family involvement in residential care, but we want to emphasise further that special care must be taken to enhance sibling relationships.
- Open communication: Maintain open communication with siblings about the reasons for placement and ensure they have a voice in the process.
- Facilitate regular contact: Arrange regular and meaningful contact between siblings, using appropriate methods like video calls, letters, or in-person visits.
- Support groups: Establish or connect siblings with support groups where they can connect with others going through similar experiences.
- Information and resources: Provide siblings with age-appropriate information about the care system and resources to help them cope with the changes.
Schools and Communities
- Awareness campaigns: Raise awareness about the challenges faced by siblings of children in care through educational campaigns.
- School support: Train school staff to identify and support siblings who might be struggling emotionally or academically.
- Mentorship programs: Develop mentorship programs that connect siblings with positive role models who can offer guidance and support.
Families and friends
- Open communication: Openly discuss the situation with siblings and validate their feelings.
- Maintaining routine: As much as possible, try to maintain routines and traditions to provide stability and a sense of normalcy.
- Offer practical support: Sometimes, families need practical support with childcare or activities. Offer help to alleviate some of the burden.
Self-care for siblings
- Expressing emotions: Encourage siblings to express their emotions healthily, through writing, art, or talking to a trusted adult.
- Maintaining interests: Help siblings maintain their hobbies and activities to provide a sense of normalcy and enjoyment.
- Building self-esteem: Foster a positive self-image in siblings by highlighting their strengths and accomplishments.
Final thoughts on supporting siblings of young persons’ in residential care
By working together – social workers, care providers, schools, communities, families, and friends – we can create a support network that helps siblings navigate this challenging experience. Remember, a strong and supportive sibling relationship can be a lifelong source of strength and resilience for these young people.
If you are looking for help with siblings struggling or experiencing difficulties, you can get in touch with us. As a teenage therapist based in London, we deal with all sorts of mental health difficulties experienced by young people. Get in touch with us today, and we can begin the journey towards healing.
